Having Hope
By Emily Lasinks
I struggled with anorexia for most of my teenage and college life. The deaths of friends and family and domestic violence fueled my depression. I entered treatment at age 13, which had its positives and negatives. I would get healthy for short periods, but then I would relapse when I experienced a life event out of my control. Living in a rural area with limited access to eating disorder specialists, I felt as if I had to do a lot of work on my own.
So what helped in my healing process? Creating art, staying active, being in nature and my faith were—and continue to be—my main healing agents. I was active in sports before anorexia, but learning how to rebuild muscle and engage in healthy exercise was never part of my wellness plan. I did much self-work on this issue because I wanted to change my perspective about exercise. My motivation for staying active has definitely changed. It’s not about losing weight in order to gain self-worth; it’s about being healthy and strong. When I run a race or bike, I often pray a prayer of gratitude for what I have overcome and give a shout out to those struggling with eating disorders and other forms of mental illness.
I took this picture while on a bike ride over the weekend. I thought it was a great representation of hope. Having hope is huge! I didn’t understand what hope was or why there was a reason to have it. However, in hindsight, I know that there are always hope and possibilities. I continue to stay in tune with my depression and notice when/why I may be feeling more down. As a mental health professional, I had difficulty believing I could be on the helping team if I too struggled. We all struggle. It’s important to speak from our scars and not our wounds, but I think we should still talk about our experiences. That’s why I’m writing today.
My path has taken some recent shifts as I explore ways to combine mental health care and ministry. Sometimes I wish I didn’t experience parts of my past, but all of it has influenced who I am and how I relate to others. Sometimes we are called to be the person we wish we had at a certain point in our lives. That’s my ongoing goal.
Share your story, message, poem, quote, photo or video of hope, struggle or recovery. By sharing your experience, you can let others know that they are not alone.
