Personal Stories

An Open Letter to My Anxiety

04.11.17

Dear Anxiety,

Oh hey, there you go again showing up uninvited.

How are you? You don’t come around as often as you used to and I can’t say that’s necessarily a bad thing. Ever since we met, you’ve been a weight on my shoulders that always held me down, making even the smallest things nearly impossible.

You took some of my most memorable moments and ruined them with your presence. You pushed my happiness aside and made yourself the star of the show. You’ve always been selfish like that. Moments of excitement turn into moments of fear and panic when you and your partner-in-crime depression come around. You two hand in hand know how to make me doubt my capabilities and my worth. You both put me at war against myself for what felt like an eternity, taking any self-confidence and burying it in doubt and insecurities you made up.

Since you two have stopped showing up regularly, I have become the person I never even dreamt I could be because you would laugh and tell me there was no chance in hell.

There was no way I would make it in college, there was no way I could ever love myself and that I had no purpose on this Earth.

There are only a few nice things that I want to say to you. Although I hate when you are here, it makes me appreciate when you’re gone. When you leave, I appreciate the little things that I can’t do when you’re around. It makes me find strength and confidence in myself in a whole new way. I also want to thank you, because of the way you and your buddy depression made me feel, I talk about you a lot. So much that I have made friends and have helped people through tough times when you two wouldn’t leave them alone either. I have people and a support system who make sure I’m okay when you come to visit on your own time.

Thank you for breaking me down and tearing me apart, because it made me build myself up and become a fighter.

XOXO,

The mind and body you don’t have control over anymore.

 


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