Preventing Suicide 18 years ago, I attempted suicide. I know just mentioning the word makes people uncomfortable. I get it, but I’m hopeful that by not being afraid to post about it the stigma can be reduced. I want to offer a ray of hope to anyone who may be in a dark place. It was my first year of marriage and my first year of teaching and the expectations I placed on myself to excel at both were unrealistic, so in my mind I was failing. I had committed to teaching for four years to pay off a scholarship and felt like I was trapped. I sank further into depression and hopelessness. I knew things weren’t right and wanted to go to counseling, but just continued keep waking up each day in despair. Finally—in an attempt to change my situation—I took a bottle of pills. I immediately regretted my choice. I’m not certain I ever really wanted to die, I just wanted the pain to stop. I woke my husband up and he rushed me to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. By the grace of God and with the help of ECT I finally came back to myself and have struggled less with depression or mania. I feel like a walking miracle and I try to live each day like someone who has been given a second chance at life because I have been. I don’t know if in the past 18 years I’ve impacted a lot of people’s lives. I’ve had five kids and spent a lot of those years in ministry so I know I have encouraged some people. I am currently working as a peer specialist in the mental health field and I feel like my experience offers some of my client’s hope. But more than the lives I’ve touched I think of all the life I would have missed and the people I would have never gotten to meet if I had been successful in my attempt at suicide. I understand hopelessness. I understand darkness and pain and despair, but more than that I understand life and love and joy. Weeping may remain for night, but joy comes in the morning. Suicide is not the answer. Share your story, message, poem, quote, photo or video of hope, struggle or recovery. By sharing your experience, you can let others know that they are not alone.