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My Struggle With Borderline Personality Disorder
I began my long journey of trying to find psychiatrists, medications and therapy that were right for me. I had no idea how much time, money and effort this would take.
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Hope for Bipolar Disorder
My depression began when I was ten years old. I remember being in my driveway at dusk and looking up at the sky seeing all the different colors and feeling emotions deeper than sad.
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The Box
I remember feeling this way from the time I was a small child. I would stand on the playground at school and watch the other kids. I just couldn’t seem to fit into their world.
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Caitlin’s Story
Over the past couple of years, I have been inwardly battling some of the most terrible monsters: anorexia nervosa, depression and anxiety.
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Why Me?
I checked myself into the hospital for the first time and I was scared. I didn’t know what to expect. Everything that is seen in the media about mental illness is frightening.
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The Struggle is Real
I am touched by these conditions which are both a curse and a blessing. The blessing is the empathy it has taught me. The curse is the pain it has caused and will continue to cause.
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Suffering in Silence
Although this battle with depression will be something I have to endure for the rest of my life, I refuse to let the stigma affect me.
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Both Sides of the Couch
I am a psychiatrist. I am also a psychiatric patient. I have bipolar disorder and find myself on both sides of the psychiatric couch.
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An Ocean of Sadness
People ask me what living with depression is like. I don’t know how to verbalize it other than to say, it’s like slowly drowning in an ocean of sadness.
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It’s Not Okay
My mind is still a game of numbers and every day is a battle. It’s okay to lose some days. You can lose a battle and still win the war.